Well, ready just in time for the New Year comes a new global warming study.

The AP headline proclaims that “Nature and Man” are jointly cooking the Arctic. The article reports:“There’s more to the recent dramatic and alarming thawing of the Arctic region than can be explained by man-made global warming alone… Nature is pushing the Arctic to the edge, too.”

That’s right:

Scientists have discovered a “natural cause that may account for much of the Arctic warming”(And refreeze, by the way, at record rates, although that little detail was left out of the story.) It’s an “energy transfer,” due to storms heading north on ocean currents. This newly discovered “energy transfer” is cyclical. It happens — all by itself — on its own schedule.  Mankind — not involved.

Can you believe it?

Scientists are now on record theorizing that nature may actually have something to do with the climate!

But they can’t come right out and say, “Oops! All the global warming hype is BullShit.” So of course, these scientists still find a way blame you. Now they say that you and nature are teaming up to roast the Arctic, and melting the poor polar bears off of their little icebergs.

So you guilt-ridden Global Warming nuts, purposefully freezing your butts off here in America because you’re worried about the ice melting up north? Relax. It’s not your fault.

At least not all your fault. So go ahead — turn up the heat! Use an incandescent bulb! Drive! Because it’s now official: you and Mother Nature are in it together, and we can’t stop Mother Nature.

– she’s a woman… Like me.