In a speech delivered to Wall Street leaders and investors, the top imam of the environmental-fascist movement, Al Gore; delivered a fatwa on American businesses. A jihad against our way of life, if you will.

Instructing investors to purge themselves of stock from companies too reliant on eeevil fossil fuel, Gore said this:

“You need to really scrub your investment portfolios, because I guarantee you — as my longtime good redneck friends in Tennessee say, I guaran-damn-tee you — that if you really take a fine-tooth comb and go through your portfolios, many of you are going to find them chock-full of subprime carbon assets.”

Now, what the hell are “subprime carbon assets”? Who the hell knows! Al Gore pulled that out of his fat carbon asset.

But I do know this:

If you take a fine-tooth comb to evidence of the impending destruction of the earth from man-made global warming, I guaran-damn-tee you’ll come up bald! This entire crisis is manufactured by socialist zealots — fueled by fear-mongering, anti-capitalist hysteria.

And if Wall Street investors were stupid enough to do what Al Gore wants — that is, ditch their investments in businesses that rely on fossil fuels — our economy would shut down! Because, folks, oil is the fuel of the engine of freedom. America runs on it. The whole world depends on a healthy American economy!

To compare owning stock in legitimate businesses, using legitimate energy sources, to subprime mortgages demonstrates the lack of fuel inside Al Gore’s subprime brain!

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THE REAL CAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING, — FINALLY DEFINED