According to a Media poll from AP and the GFK Group, a German marketing firm, eight in ten Americans are afraid the financial crisis will affect them. Right in time for the elections — why, what a surprise!

The majority of those surveyed blame banks for issuing risky mortgages and the federal government for not regulating enough. Some blame those who actually took mortgages that they couldn’t afford. The bad actors responsible for the policies that actually got us here, liberal Democrats?

Well, of course, they’re blameless!

But the fear is widespread. A third believe their jobs are at risk. Half believe they’ll have to work longer because their retirement plans have tanked. Eighty percent fear the increased federal debt from the bailout will burden their kids and grandkids — though they’re not worried enough, apparently, to demand the government stop spending so much.

But this is troubling news because, soon after the election, we’re going to be smack dab in the holiday season. Even before this so-called meltdown began, the media were running stories about the coming bad Christmas season. Can you imagine the forecast now? Total gloom, total doom — obliteration at Christmas time!

We can head this off; we have the formula now. This year, we need a $700 billion Christmas Bailout Plan targeted to America’s retailers. If you people won’t spend your money in stores, let the government spend it for you!

I mean, hey: if it’s good enough for Wall Street, it should be good enough for Main Street.

Right?

(Except Wal-Mart — let that fail. The libs would love that.)